On Riding in Groups

Riding in groups is rather a dark art. Most of the time people ride along perfectly happy by themselves. Riding in a group at first feels rather un-natural- too close, too far, OMG I'm gonna kill that guy in front of me. 


But eventually you get used to it and just get so bored you eventually see that the label on the back of the person in front of you's shorts says 40 degree wash only. In fact, they should print things on the back of cycling shorts- poetry or algebra equations or something for long rides. 


The other thing is that it's just easier. The person in front of you acts as a windbreak, and it's a hellofalot easier on the ol' legs. A distance of about a wheel length will get you the best aerodynamic advantage, although if you watch the professionals, they're pretty much rubbing rubber (no innuendo implied ;-) ). 


It can be real disconcerting being in the middle of the group with someone in front and behind you- the old cyclist sammich. Worry about the person in front of you- if you keep looking back, you will hit the person in front. If the worst happens, rather than braking hard, try to steer round. 


A secret code was forged, long ago, by early cyclists. It is occasionally passed down by the cycling elders (spotable by their sandals and beards) to "young 'uns". It consists of a series of different hand signals.


Pothole/drain cover/roadkill- Lower an arm  to your side and draw a circle with your hand, depending on which side it was. If you're in a group, the person at the front will be the only person who has time to react to them. Pass the signal back and you'll stop folk getting punctures, buckled wheels.


Stopping- A right handed fist, bend towards the sky. Give people some time to react, and yell that you're gonna stop too. Just stopping will probably lead to you gaining a passenger on your bicycle. And not in a good way.


I'm gonna go- Mainly useful at roundabouts, particularly when going straight on. A flat palm wave forwards past your ear to indicate you're gonna go to peeps behind you.


Apparently that's as far as the cycling elders got before falling asleep in their warm pints of real ale. There are more, but these are the most commonly used and most easily understood ones.

I Know You're Ahab, goddamn it!

First, the title- a very good friend of mine commented on the content with this. I thought I would share :-)


Less than a week to go now- pressures are being checked, chains are being greased and I still don't have functioning brakes! I am currently attempting to starve off a vampiric cold with double doses of vitamin C and zinc- my second in two weeks. Grargh.


But yes, news is afoot! The route has been planned, and I'm sure the gang wont mind me putting it up on here :-).


Day 1. Dundee to Pitlochry. 89.47km. 55.397m

http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/30414420

Day 2. Faskally – Roybridge.99.11km. 61.4 miles.

http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/30317382

Day 3. Roybridge – Resipole. 72.34km. 44m.
http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/30319792

C2C Day 4. Resipole – Ardnamurchan. 44.65km. 27.7m.
http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/30418054

Hills (the eternal enemy) are rated on a scale from 1-5 in professional cycling based on length and how tall the hills is. We have 3 cat.5 climbs and one cat.4, so we should be alright :-). Points for whoever comes over the top first perhaps :-p.

Less than a week- really excited! Not sure how much we've raised, but there is still time to donate- click below to go to the DARE Paypal site! Anything you can spare is much appreciated :-)

On Training Rides and "The Bonk"

So yesterday was the third training ride, the second one I've been on. Out to Arbroath and then back the same way. With the wind behind us, we set out towards the land of the enigmatic "smokie" and birthplace of the inventor of the waterbed (no, seriously!) The going was pretty good, with a nice tail wind (the kinder sibling of the head/facewind.) 


Upon arriving in Arbroath, we decided on following my idea of going to a little cafe I visited last year on a similar ride. 4 miles out of Arbroath, after a long hill climb, it occurred to me that I wasn't really 100% sure if we were going the correct way. Not lost, just not quite sure :-p. On the plus side, it was good exercise. Right guys? 


Back in Arbroath, we sampled the delights of the eponymous Arbroath Smokie. For the uninitiated, this is a smoked haddock (Sorry Calum, not mackerel) and a speciality of the area. After much clicking around on cleated shoes, we found a fishmonger selling them pretty much fresh from the oven. 

Gotta watch them seagulls...

With giant seagulls circling, we sampled the delights of Arbroath's delicacy. I guess the closest thing that Dundee has is the Moch chop- a fake pork chop made from meat of dubious origin. It's so mysterious that wikipedia declared it a "mythical foodstuff" and removed the page. 




Unfortunately, the tailwind, on the way back became a fierce facewind. Just past Carnoustie, we were starting to struggle a little bit, so a quick skittle break was in order. "the bonk" had hit. This aforementioned condition is unique to cyclists, and similar to "hitting the wall". Physiologically, it comes from losing the glycogen stores in your muscles. Symptoms include
-Concrete legs
-Blurred vision
-Grey colouration
-Gibbering to oneself
-Cramp


The cure is simple- sugar, and plenty of it. The bonk sufferer will not want to eat or drink, but it's necessary. Quick 10 minute break and you'll feel like a new man/woman. Of course prevention is better than cure, so eat for half an hour ahead, even if you aren't hungry at the time.

And for the cramp, always carry some of this -----------------------> a little pinch on the tongue, followed up with some water should get rid of most cramping pretty much straight off. A very old cyclist (with a beard) told me this sage piece of wisdom, and I didn't believe him until I tried it.


For those who fancy giving the route a try, and for the guys on the ride, I've put the details up here! 


It's only 11 days until the big ride now, and I'm starting to feel more confident. On Friday, we had the first of two maintenance workshops, from the lovely folks at Spokes in Dundee. Learnt a few useful things, and I think we're prepared for most eventualities now.


Not sure how much we've raised just yet, but we can raise more. You can donate by clicking on the picture below:

The whats, the wherefores and the whys...

It's now two weeks (and a bit) until I start on the Coast To Coast D.A.R.E Ride. For those who have just arrived, it's gonna be 222 miles, and it's entirely to raise money for various charities that D.A.R.E support. 

Whilst talking to people, a few have expressed doubt in what raising any amount of money will actually achieve. There is a perception that for many of the DARE volunteers that this is a "gap yaah" trip. This ain't true folks! They pay their own expenses- air fare, food, accomodation; the whole nine yards.

As for where the money goes, DARE will be donating absolutely everything we raise to a series of small charities (no wastage on administration and them hiring high up CEOs and stuff that way!). We (the guys riding) are paying for our food, accomodation, van hire and fuel (both petroleum-based and mars bar-based!) for the trip. There's no margin for any kind of expenses at all for us either. We're not messing about here :-) 

Charities that DARE are supporting this year include:

The Casa Jackson Centre for Malnourished Children (www.casajackson.org) is a small children's unit in Guatemala. They treat malnutrition (not suprisingly, from their name!) in a country where it is estimated that over 50% of the nation's children are malnourished. 

Little Big Africa (www.littlebigafrica.org) a small charity that works in Africa on smaller projects. The basic idea is that smaller projects lead to smaller logistical and administrative costs and thus more of the money donated can go towards the projects.

Don Bosco Children's Home in Borneo, a small childrens home in the town of Bundu Tuhan.

And more to come when I get more information on them. You can sponsor us for the ride by clicking the link below (which I've put in large print so you can't miss it). It's anonymous (unless you want to tell me) and dead quick:

Music to Ride to (O RLY?)

Now I'm not one to advocate becoming one of the cycle iPod zombies that various newspapers report on on a slow news day. Riding with your cans on full blast is rather on the silly side. I learnt this harder as any when I was a kid and did a "Starsky" over the bonnet of a white Mondeo that appeared in front of me. Didn't hear the damn thing (I was probably listening to something like Linkin Park- from the angsty teen section). 


Ever since then, I've been a bit more careful. And the bike was fine by the way. But having music on a long ride out definitely a winner. Having that one track to spur you on can get you over the top of that hill. Music is beautiful- "louder than words and bigger than pictures". But what to listen to?

No, really!

For the truly obsessed, there is one pure cycling option- Kraftwerk's "Tour De France Soundtracks". Released in 2003 (yeah, not in the 80s!) it consists of a series of songs around the central theme of Le Tour. These guys love cycling so much they sell cycling jerseys alongside their band t-shirts! It's actually rather good. The video below is "le etape", which comes halfway between cycling music and Underworld's "Born Slippy". It might not be to everyone's taste, but whatever you are doing, listening to this song seems to make it feel faster (probably than it is)

For the rest of us mere mortals who don't have chain lube for blood, there are alternatives. Time to bare my soul and give you my ultimate playlist:


The Warm-up
-Stone Roses- Begging You
-Chemical Brothers- Block Rockin' Beats


On The Flat
-The Avalanches- Frontier Psychiatrist
-Peaches- F*** The Pain Away
-Daft Punk- Derezzed
-Johnny Cash- God's Gonna Cut You Down


For That Massive Hill
-The Prodigy- Spitfire, Firestarter
-Led Zep- When The Levee Breaks


When the Going Gets Hard
-Snow Patrol- The Lightning Strike
-Ennio Moricone- L'Estasi Dell'oro (the finale of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)




Finishing
-Sigur Ros- Hoppipolla
-Civil Twilight- Letters From The Sky


...and a few more. My entire playlist is on Spotify HERE, and it's not just good for cycling :-)


It's now two weeks until the coast to coast ride, we are still collecting sponsorships, and any suggestions for the epic playlist are more than welcome!

The Peloton Fashion Parade

Back in the day (as such), it was often difficult to tell who was who in cycle races. This was partly due to the fact that a large majority of them were/looked like coal miners after a long race due to the fact that they rode on dirt track rather than the fancy tarmacadam'ed stuff we have today. Another factor was that as life was in black and white back then, so everyone was in fact wearing varying shades of gray. 


These days, we have a massive variety of different options and "colourways" for what we choose to attire ourselves with. No longer are we restricted to the simple striped designs of the 1950s, nor the day-glo creations of the 80's (although it that's your bag, go for it!) What you wear is now more of a statement to the world.


Option 1: The Hi-Viz

Worn by: Commuters, people who ride in the dark, quietly seething models (see left).


Advantage: Cars have no excuse for not seeing you. Also, if you wear it for long enough, it gets that washed out look that screams "I'm a hardened cyclist, I fear you not!"


Disadvantage: It's a bit 80's techno isn't it?






Option 2: The Team strip

Worn by: Mainly MAMILs (Middle-Aged Men in Lycra) and guys who actually ride professionally.


Advantage: You feel like your cycling hero, kitted out in the same gear.


Disadvantage: You're technically a walking sandwich board of advertising. People will assume you are as fast as your cycling heroes. You are not.




Option 3: The Vintage

Worn by: Hipsters, people who were around at the time.


Advantage: I guess you get to pay homage to those who came before you or something like that


Disadvantage: You're also wearing the same gear as that bearded 65 year old who just outpaced you. You wont ever be as fast as Eddie Merckx. Hipsters.


Option 4: The Wa-haha-cky!

Worn by: Those with a skewed sense of humour, the author (see left)


Advantage: You get to show you're a fun-loving guy, and it detracts from your portly frame. People don't bother racing you.


Disadvantage: Hearing bone jokes ("no bones about you", "my, that's a slimming jersey") gets old real fast. You will end up known as the "skeleton guy".








I think the jersey to the right is going to be my next acquisition. Pin the colours to the mast :-D

Quick update!

Hey anyone reading this. Just a quick update. It's just under 3 weeks now until we're underway! Training rides this week were snowed off, and night shifts have scuppered any attempt at anything other then sleep and eating. 


But there is news! Good news! The guys organising the ride have finally got a paypal account thing sorted. So if you want to donate, then you can click on the donate button below. Being paypal, it is totally secure,  and just a question of putting your details in. 


For the uninitated, we are all raising money for the Dundee University DARE society charities. They essentially send student volunteers out to build orphanages and things like that. And the guys going out pay their own airfare, accomodation and food costs. It's not charity tourism! And certainly not a gap yaaah. We are Dundee Uni, rather than St Andrews after all ;-).


DONATE (thankyou)